Social engineering vs. security theater

Crabs in MauiFor a cross-country flight, I packed a lunch of deconstructed sandwiches. Slices of homemade walnut bread, a handful of arugula, a tomato, and a repurposed deli-container full of homemade crab salad. The crab salad was moist with mayo, lemon, and chopped apple. Spreadable, if not quite liquid, mostly filling an 8 oz container.

I didn’t expect it to pass security, so I was ready with Plan B: I’d back out of the security area, construct the sandwiches, and try again with the less-dense contraband.

So I’m pushing my carry-on along to the scanner belt when the TSA man on the x-ray calls for assistance. “Log-jam,” he says.

“They’re moving now,” I say, having straightened someone else’s bag. Mine goes through.

“I’m just trying to keep her busy [wink],” the TSA agent says, jerking his chin toward his colleague as she inspects the flow of bags.

I lock eyes with him. “Good strategy,” I wink back, and he doesn’t even glance at the screen as my bags sail through, crab salad and all.

Ah, social engineering vs. security theater. I love it.

More from Bambi Vincent
Bob Arno in Just For Laughs
Montreal, July 18—Hospital instead of curtain call for Bob Arno at the...
Read More
Join the Conversation

8 Comments

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. says: Hoq

    I have to say that I don’t think this is a good idea. Touching other people’s luggage is something that can get you billy-clubbed.

    I actually tried to straighten my OWN luggage one time, and the TSA agent yelled at me for touching luggage on the conveyor.

  2. says: Chris

    Much ado about nothing. I travel all the time, and things like crab salad pass through fine.

    Thanksgiving pies, however, get confiscated. Stupid!

  3. says: y e l m

    The crab salad sounds delicious. What a nice idea to put in apple. I think I’ll make that.

    Only Bambi would redesign the word purpose so cleverly!