Eat shit


Mala Mala, South Africa— Our mischievous rangers convinced some in our safari group of an old “African tradition” while out walking in the bush. It is a competition to see who can spit impala droppings the farthest. I was horrified to see first one sister,

then another,
select a hard bead of deer doodoo from the ground and place it on her tongue. Who cares how far they spit it? Two of my sisters voluntarily put animal dung in their mouths! Granted, it was hard and dry, but it was on the ground! These two squeamish ones are the type who avoid touching banisters and public doorknobs.

Meanwhile, we all ate caterpillar droppings,

which seasoned our alfresco breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. The stuff fell so steadily from the trees it was useless to fight it. It lodged in hair, tickled down shirts, filled pockets, and sunk to the bottom of our coffee.

“It’s just digested leaves,” our entomologist uncle soothed. Look at the dung beetle: it lives on pre-digested food. Here it works hard to roll perfect balls of fresh elephant dung for later consumption.


© Copyright 2008-2009 Bambi Vincent. All rights reserved.

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  • An old Albanian philosopher once said, ” it is better to eat shit then be shit.” Of course an old Texas philosopher by the name of Jack Shit once said, “it is better not to be up shit creek with or without a paddle unless you are shit out of luck on a shitty day in which you don’t give a shit realizing that shit happens and you might be shit out of luck and knee deep in it..”

  • your thinking is hilarious. No problem that it was shit, just that it was on the ground. Horrors!

  • Well, you ate at Joe’s Butchery. Who knows what was in those dishes. But I guess that was before you saw his “purveyor of fine meats”.

    Then again, there are those who eat worms at African picnics. And there are those who drink civet cat shit coffee.

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