I have to laugh at the great sense of humor shown by the creators of Stashitware, men’s and women’s pickpocket-proof underwear. Start with the name: where do you stash your shit? The product better be good, because the name begs to be shortened to Shitware if not.

But it IS good. It’s great. The men’s and women’s models have huge, deep pockets, into which endless items can be stuffed. Which brings me to its hilarious demo video. Never has stowing valuables been so entertaining.

http://youtu.be/WxNs3WGbNNw

Some of the items shoved into the man’s crotch — cigarettes, prescription meds, condoms, jewelry wadded up in tissue — suggest motives other than thwarting thieves. Stashitware’s made for stashing and it does a stellar job of it. What and why you want to stash is your business. The man pats and squeezes his privates to demonstrate that the hidden items can’t be seen or felt—to a point. “You could fit a gun in this pocket!” a subtitle states. Not sure how comfortable that would be.

The undies look good. They’re comfortable, even loaded. Wearing a medium boxer brief Bob packed in his passport, credit cards, a camera battery, and cash. There was room for more, but he wouldn’t want to bulk up with more than that down his pants.

The small men’s boxer brief was too tight for my skinny husband, but great for me! So I had four pairs to test: the comfy men’s, and three designs made for women: a boybrief, bikini brief, and thong, which all held progressively less as they got skimpier. I comfortably carried a camera battery, cash, two credit cards, a passport, and an iPhone in the men’s small shorts and the women’s boybriefs. The bikini and thong, with their low cuts, naturally hold less.

Pickpocket-proof underwear

These good-looking skivvies are pickpocket-proof underwear. With their easy-access pockets, they’re also pretty convenient, though in some situations a little privacy might be in order before deep digging.

Stashitware pocket pants should be in vending machines in the lobbies of hotels in cities with a pickpocket reputation. In airport arrival halls, too. They would put pickpockets out of business—and this blog, too.

“If these were in stores,” Bob Arno said, “pickpockets would become shoplifters to get them off the shelves.”

(For pickpocket-proof underwear, also consider The Clever Travel Companions’ twin zip pocket underwear.)”

UPDATE May 2, 2012: I wore Stashitware on the world’s most crowded trains, trains so crowded you have to see them to believe it, and I have to say: I loved Stashitware! I never worried about my cash, credit cards, and ID. It was perfectly comfortable to carry it all in Stashitware. None of the many kinds of pickpockets would be able to get it. And my stuff was quick and simple to get out and put back. Excellent pickpocket-proof underwear. And no—I have no connections with the company.