hotel – Page 4 – Pickpocket Bob Arno

Hotel room theft

It happens. For the most part, it’s rare. At the risk of tempting fate, I’ll admit that we’ve never been victims of hotel theft, though we practically live in hotels (200-250 nights per year for the past 20 years.)

Of course we take some precautions and listen to our own advice, particularly based on our version of the hotel room security check. But travel makes us weary and sometimes we become lax. Laziness is part of reality.

Though I believe in locking valuables into the room safe or alternatively, into my largest hard-sided suitcase, there’s always the security-versus-convenience trade-off to be considered, not to mention the gut-instinct and informed-decision. In other words, a lot of variables. I might start out vigilant, then slack off. In my book, I said:

Electronic access points on the underside of a keycard lock.

I also consider the relaxation factor. If you stay in a hotel for several days, a week, perhaps more, you get comfortable. Maybe you get to know the staff. Maybe you let down your guard. If I were a hotel employee bent on stealing from a guest, I’d wait until the guest’s last day in hopes she might not miss the item. Then she’d leave. Are thieves that analytical? I don’t know. But I like to make a policy and stick with it.

Logical, but idealistic. I can’t say that I always follow my own rules. I get complacent. I get tired of the drill. Constant travel is draining.

Anyway, hotel employees are not the only potential room thieves. There are the door pushers and the loot-‘n-scooters who social-engineer their ways past housekeeping—both outsiders.

A looming threat is door-hacking. For a few bucks, anyone can build a small electronic gizmo that will open keycard locks made by Onity, which are currently installed on millions of hotel room doors around the world. The electronic lock-pick, revealed in July 2012 by hacker Matthew Jakubowski, opens our belongings to yet another potential risk. Perhaps our safety, too.

Fixing or replacing door lock hardware will be expensive, so some hotels have resorted to simply plugging the tiny access port—with a removable plug. Hotel security chiefs tell me that most hotels will do nothing until they get a rash of theft reports. Now, the thefts have begun.

Have I changed my hotel room behavior? Nope.

Hotel guests: read all about ’em

So much personal information on display at quaint, old-fashioned hotels like the one we recently stayed at in Bali. Which rooms are occupied? What are the names of the guests in each room? When did they arrive? When will they check out? Who are they traveling with? Have they paid yet?

A modern hotel wouldn’t give out any of this information. A modern hotel won’t even speak your room number out loud. A modern hotel won’t give a caller a guest’s room number. A modern hotel certainly wouldn’t advertise which rooms are occupied by single women! (Rooms 69, 72, 74, 209, 217 for starters.)

You’re only given one key per room at this hotel, and the key is on a wooden fob the size of a doorknob, meant to inspire you to leave the key at the front desk when you go out. Not wishing to advertise our comings and goings, I detach the key, leave the wooden chunk in the room, put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door, and keep the key with me.

I’m not sure if the safety deposit box numbers correspond to the room numbers, but I think they do. If so, it’s easy to see who hasn’t bothered to use one.

The hotel is charming, despite and partly because of its old-fashionedness, and despite being called Swastika. (I refuse to allow the Nazis to own this ancient Sanskrit word for the symbol of well-being.)

hotel security travel

Hotel Oddity #31

What the hell happened to the sink? Why is its plumbing all bandaged? Is it insulation in case of a freeze tonight? Are the pipes falling apart? Are they leaky? Anyone have a clue?

I stay in hotels from the top end (George V in Paris, Singita in Kruger) to this dump: Doubletree by Hilton at JFK. Avoid the Doubletree@JFK. Its breakfast is inedible.

hotel odd

Salvador Dali theft prevention

Salvador Dali knew about lurking lobby luggage thieves.

hotel theft

Portrait of a hanger thief

This man had weighed his bag and was now shedding stuff when I saw him at the check-in counter in Pisa airport. What he removed first was a dozen identical wooden hangers. He leaned the stack against the nearest trash can and fiddled with his luggage. We were both early, before the check-in desks had opened.

“Gotta dump the stolen hangers?” I tossed off.

“They’re not stolen,” he stuttered.

“So where’d they come from?”

“I had them.”

“You travel with hangers?”

“I brought them from home.”

“You stay in hotels that don’t provide hangers?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“What hotel is that?”

“Uh. Um. Actually… I work on a ship. The ones they give us are… uh, wire.”

“So you bring your own.”

“Uh huh. Yeah.”

“What ship do you work on?”

“Um. Never mind.”

“Must be Silversea. That’s the sort of ship that would have beautiful wooden hangers like those.” I had noticed a Silversea ship off the coast that morning. Inside information! It freaked him out. The guy became fidgety. Looked nervous.

“Don’t worry, I don’t report hanger thieves,” I said. But I was glad to see his cold sweat. It’s thieves like him that cause hotels to install those maddening anti-theft hookless hangers.

Both our check-in counters opened. He finished before me. He picked up his stack of hangers as he walked away. I wonder if he tried to carry them on the plane. Or if he just wanted to trash the evidence.

hotel thieves travel

Hotel oddity #30

“Thief!”

That’s my hotel accusing me, before it even knows me. What kind of customer relations is that? I feel insulted when I find hangers like these in my room.

And I’m inconvenienced, adding further irritation toward the hotel. They’re annoying to use. The kind of anti-theft hangers with tiny hooks to fit thin bars are slightly less pesky—at least they’re not so fiddly to hang.

These hotel hookless hangers (what are they called?) are impossible for drying laundry. Unless you know how…

I know I’m a bit peevish about hotels. You might be too, if you spent 250 nights a year in them. (Hangers are actually pretty low on my long list of hotel gripes. Much worse is an alarm clock that goes off due to a previous guest’s setting.)

Must see: Portrait of a Hanger Thief

hotel odd

Hotel oddity #29

We were nearly asleep when the Jacuzzi turned itself on in the bathtub next to the bed. Of course we both flew out of bed, unsure what the racket was, then sure but baffled, then outraged. We couldn’t turn it off.

The bedroom-bath part of the suite at the East Hamburg Hotel

The East Hamburg Hotel can only be called a designer hotel (whatever that means). Every single item in the room, in the hotel, needs a second look. The bed is a free-standing unit with built-in side tables and lighting. Beside it is a free-standing bathroom counter on which are perched a creature-like mirror and—see the stomach-shaped pewter blob?—that’s the sink.

There’s a shower behind the glass doors and a toilet behind the wooden door. Between them is a huge Jacuzzi bathtub with a panel of intriguing buttons. I’m ordinarily repelled by hotel bathtubs, but we decided to give this one a try. It had a lot of noisy jets, which we soon turned off, opting for peace and quiet, as soon as we could figure out which unmarked buttons to press.

It was late. We’d just been the focus of a large press event. Bob had given a presentation, a series of interviews to journalists, and posed for about 30 photographers. There was a screening of our National Geographic documentary Pickpocket King, and a cocktail party. It was the last night of a hectic week of promoting the film and we had an early flight the next morning. The bath was relaxing. We dried off and fell into the seductive bed, exhausted.

Ten or 15 minutes later, we’re in twilight-land and the tub starts gurgling, humming, splashing, and foaming, as if a poltergeist were bathing. The unmarked keypad was of no use. The tub was filling.

We called reception, already dreading the imminent arrival of hotel staff, further delaying our much-needed sleep.

“It’s just cleaning itself,” front desk staff explained. “It will be finished in ten minutes and turn itself off.”

hotel odd

Hotel Oddity #28

A hotel I stayed in was unabashed enough to provide shampoo in a water glass! Obviously they’d simply run out of amenity bottles. But still… an oddness. Tacky.

I’ll not shame the company by naming the property.

hotel odd