Keyless car theft, increasing crime

keyless car theft, keyless-entry fob
keyless car theft, keyless-entry fob
On the way to Obidos, Portugal, where this car was opened using a keyless-entry fob signal amplifier.

Keyless car theft is possible even when a car is locked and the electronic fob is away from the car. With a small electronic gadget, thieves can open the car and steal its contents, start the car, and drive it off.

Eve D. wrote to tell me about the recent theft she experienced while traveling by car through Portugal. Eve is well aware of theft risks, and her husband, Jeff, goes so far as to Velcro his wallet. I presume by that Eve means that Jeff keeps his wallet in a pocket with a Velcro closure.

Eve wrote:

keyless car theft, keyless-entry fob
The beautiful little town of Obidos, in Portugal. You might not think of car theft in this sleepy village.

We drove from Lisbon to the tiny walled town of Obidos, Portugal.

There, just outside the city wall, our rental car was broken into and all our carry ons, with all our valuables, were stolen. Our car was an SUV so you could see that we had luggage in the car, but the car was definitely locked when we left it. 

The thieves just took the carry ons, leaving the big, more obvious suitcases. They used a remote control thing that can open cars with keyless entry. 

Keyless car theft

Keyless car theft is a growing crime and a threat to all (it seems) cars with touchless wireless key fobs. Wireless-entry fobs work by proximity; the doors won’t open and the car won’t start unless the fob is quite close to the car. The signals sent between the car and fob are weak, so the two must be close to one another in order to work. At least, that’s how it’s supposed to work.

When you’re at home, where’s your car? In the driveway? On the street? And where’s your electronic key (and your spare electronic key)? In the house somewhere, right?, and too far from the car to work.

Car thieves are using an electronic signal booster, or amplifier, to make the car and distant key communicate with each other over a longer distance. When it works, the thieves can unlock the car, start it, and drive away.

keyless car theft, keyless-entry fob
Obidos, Portugal, where car break-ins might be furthest from one’s mind.

In Eve’s case, it’s not clear that her key and car were close enough together, since she describes her car as being parked outside the ancient (thick) city wall. However, a thief with a signal amplifier, good timing, and a lot of nerve would be able to accomplish the boost and get the car unlocked before the fob walks too far away. That is, beyond several hundred meters. Especially if he doesn’t intend to start the car.

We were moving from one town to another and decided to stop at Obidos to have lunch. We were not parked in a secluded spot; there were probably about 15 cars in the lot with us. There were workman inside the walls setting up for a medieval fair. Some of the cars were probably the workers’ so maybe there wasn’t much in-and-out activity. I tend to think the workers could have been involved.

I would guess not. The workers are gainfully employed (in a country with 11-12% unemployment), they were busy working, and they wouldn’t likely risk their jobs.

Keyless-entry car theft

We did file a police report. Thank goodness one in our group was a Brazilian who spoke Portuguese, but I don’t think filing the police report did much good. The police said they would keep a lookout for our things along the road. Obidos is a very safe city, somewhat off the beaten track. But the police said ours was the second incident reported that day.

Sounds like a booster-booster in the neighborhood. (Do I need to point out that booster is slang for thief?)

The rental cars in Europe have stickers on their windshields announcing the fact that the car belongs to tourists. So, please remind tourists not to leave anything in their cars.  

Excellent advice, when possible. But how should Eve have behaved differently? It was a calculated risk, a short stop, a quiet town, a happy mood, and everything should have been okay. You have to live, right?

I’m sure that I wouldn’t have taken that chance though. I’d choose a restaurant where I could park my car in full view from a window or patio, or I’d get something to go, or leave a volunteer to stay with the car. But I’m in the steal business and more aware of the risks. I’m not much of a chance-taker. (I lived in Vegas for 20 years and never gambled.)

I think the clicker thing, remote door opener, has been around for a while. We had our whole car taken in Marseille about 10 years ago.

Eve is right. These keyless-entry signal-amplifiers have been around for some time, though they haven’t been seen much by law enforcement. Just this week, European security researchers announced that most cars built by Volkswagen since 1995 can be broken into with a wireless hack. “Our findings affect millions of vehicles worldwide and could explain unsolved insurance cases of theft from allegedly locked vehicles,” the researchers wrote. Millions of vehicles! (Eve’s rental was a Nissan.)

Earlier this month, two men were arrested for keyless car theft, suspected of stealing more than 100 cars and moving them across the border to Mexico. Rather than a signal amplifier, these men used a laptop and software intended for use by dealers and locksmiths. It’s yet another way that keyless-entry systems can be bypassed. A safety-hatch for us car-owners, it’s also a backdoor ready to be exploited by any evil-doers so motivated.

So, why did Eve’s thieves take the carry-ons and leave the large luggage? Maybe they got away on a motorcycle or in a tiny smart car. Maybe they ran out of time. Or maybe they wanted the jewelry and electronics more likely to be found in carry-on bags, and didn’t need the socks and sweaters that would be in suitcases.

So just a reminder…the rental cars in Europe have stickers on the windshield. Do not leave anything in the car, and maybe not get an SUV. Our car was parked in a small lot so maybe not public enough. Also there was a curve in the road so that someone could be looking out. There were work trucks there too.

Try a faraday cage

What else can we do to protect our cars and their contents? You can keep your fob (and spare) in a faraday cage to prevent it from transmitting radio signals. A faraday cage could be your refrigerator or some other metal box. (A refrigerator might not be good for the key fob’s battery.) Or it could be a pouch or wallet made of metal mesh especially for this purpose—many are available.

If you park in a high-crime area or you drive a highly-desirable car (to a thief), and your keyless-entry fob is typically within 100 meters or so of the parked car, it might be a good idea, unless you can secure the car in a locked area. For the rest of us, it might be a step too far. And it certainly cancels the convenience of a wireless fob.

Of course the manufacturers should fix this vulnerability—though they’ve known about it for five or more years already and haven’t. In the meantime, we drivers will lose more cars and more personal items left inside our cars, and find little or no trace of the thieves.

EDIT 8/20/16: In a reverse problem, you might be locked out of your car when your key fob is affected by interference from a neon sign or locked out of your garage due to interference from LED lights in the garage.

EDIT 11/28/17: Watch video of two white-jump-suited thieves steal a Mercedes using a signal amplifier. Takes 19 seconds to get the car door open.

All text & photos © copyright 2008-present. All rights reserved. Bambi Vincent

Hotel lobby baggage theft

Hotel lobby luggage theft; hotel lobby bag theft
Hotel lobby baggage theft; hotel lobby luggage theft
The entrance of our hotel, through two glass doors.

[dropcap letter=”H”]otel lobby baggage theft is common precisely because people think it is not. We tend to feel we’ve entered a safe zone when we enter our hotel lobby.

And of course, it feels that way: compared to the city on the other side of the door, it is cool (or warm, if it’s winter), quiet, and peaceful. All the hustle and bustle of the street disappears, the crowds, the traffic, honking, sirens, beggars, hawkers, weather. The lobby may have flowers, scent, soothing music, something to drink, smiles. Compared to the outdoors, the lobby is the very nirvana the hotel advertises.

Hotel lobby baggage theft

Bob and I went to Rome recently for a film shoot with a German production company. We arrived two days before the film crew, but we happened to be in the lobby when they arrived. All ten of them entered with their luggage and crowded around the reception desk. Several tossed their backpacks into a corner while they checked in and introduced themselves to Bob and me. Eyeing those unguarded bags, I decided not to be a worrywart, a killjoy, and a hysteric. I thought I’d do my best to keep my eye on the bags.

Hotel lobby baggage theft; hotel lobby luggage theft
View from the inside: the crew’s backpacks were piled inside the second glass door on the right. Seemingly safe, with ten of us in the small lobby.

The lobby was mildly chaotic with check-ins, greetings, and the driver back and forth with luggage. Next thing I knew, one of the crew lunged toward the luggage and grabbed the hand of a crouching thief.

It happened so fast it almost didn’t happen. The thief ran out the door empty-handed. Bob and I took off after him.

Bob ran faster and further than I did, and eventually caught a man who claimed to be a friend of the thief’s. We had not gotten a good look at the thief in the lobby—not that this guy knew that. Strangely, he didn’t object to my openly filming him. He also gave us his mobile phone number. Marco, a member of the crew who’d caught up with us, called the number right away to see if the number was correct. The friend-of-the-thief’s phone rang. None of us could identify the thief, so after talking for a while, we said goodbye.

Meanwhile, a police car had parked in front of our hotel. In the back seat was a newly-arrested pickpocket and outside of the car a victim was identifying the pickpocket to a policeman. That incident was totally unrelated to our attempted baggage theft. One of our crew used the opportunity to tell the officer about our almost-theft. We didn’t speak with the handcuffed pickpocket or the victim, but we wished we could have since we’d come to Rome to shoot a special on pickpocketing. What a coincidence!

The moral of the story is that baggage can’t be safely ignored in a hotel lobby. Not even through two glass doors, not even with a crowd of pals around, not with the receptionist facing the door, not even for a minute. But this story gets weirder. Much weirder!

At midnight, a thief calls

Hotel lobby baggage theft
Midnight in Piazza Barberini. The Norddeich TV production team with Bob Arno and Bambi Vincent.

At midnight, Marco’s phone rings. We’d had a good day of filming, a good dinner together, and we’re all standing in Piazza Barberini enjoying the night air and the energy from our successful shoot.

Marco doesn’t recognize the Italian phone number calling him but he answers his phone. His face darkens.

“I saw you and I know where you’re staying,” a man threatens in English. “I’m the guy who was in the back of the police car. In front of your hotel.”

What? None of us had ever spoken with that perp. We hadn’t given any of our phone numbers to anyone.

The thief continues: he knows who we are. We better not put any footage on Youtube. And he hangs up.

Marco is shaken. The rest of us are confused. Who was the man on the phone? He was certainly not the one who tried (and failed) to steal a crew member’s backpack in our hotel lobby. Neither was he the friend-of-the-thief. This guy was handcuffed in the back of a squad car during all that action.

Bob and I come up with a theory. A small band of marauding thieves had been prowling the area. As one attempted hotel lobby baggage theft, another pickpocketed a man on the street. A multidisciplinary criminal outfit on a self-enrichment offensive. Unspecialized opportunists on a hit-and-miss venture.

Bob phones the mystery thief. “Bob Arno, I know you,” the pickpocket says. “I’ve watched your film. I’m sitting here in a cafe with about 30 other pickpockets and we’ve all seen it.” No longer threatening; he’s positively jovial. He had heard the police officers talk about our tv shoot while he was being booked at the police station. He was let go (of course), and later reunited with his friends. The one whose phone Marco had called, and the one who had tried to steal a backpack.

Knowing Bob Arno from the National Geographic film Pickpocket King, the three paranoid thieves thought Bob had filmed the attempted baggage theft and did not want the footage put online.

Bob phoned the pickpocket once more:

The next day I call him, via Skype. We bond, and have a good conversation. And he spills some secrets: the size of their network, how they work and where, and how long they stay in one country. About thirty of them, all Moroccans, make up the gang. He is friendly and quite educated. This surprises me. This is nearly always how we start out: digging and drilling down for information. Gentle, easy question at first, slowly building some sort of rapport. Eventually we can map their entire operation, including girlfriends, snitches, fences, and on and on. Some of these efforts can take years, and they are not all successful.

All this resulting from a hotel lobby baggage theft that didn’t even happen. Read about Marianne, an actual victim of hotel lobby baggage theft.

The undetectable impostor infiltrating hotel lobbies

Think you’d notice a bag thief prowling around your hotel lobby? You haven’t met “Pedro,” a very different practitioner of hotel lobby baggage theft. Pedro, a multi-talented thief working in Paris, told us:

If you want to make money, you have to go to the big hotels, the five-stars. You use psychology, so you’re not suspected. You must be well-dressed. If you look like a good man, the person working the doors doesn’t keep you out. You are a good man! You have to feel like a good man to avoid security.

A pickpocket's story; hotel lobby baggage theft
“Pedro” spoke to us freely in a restaurant in Paris. He eventually even told us his real name. Paris police know him by his two crooked little fingers.

Look and feel like a good man. By that Pedro means appearing respectable, unimpeachable. Unlike our bag-thief-wannabe in Rome, Pedro doesn’t snatch and dash. He stands right beside you—orders coffee beside you in the lobby bar. He’s a good actor—you don’t suspect him. You don’t raise your antennas because he’s near. In fact, your guard is down. You’re in the hotel lobby!

© Copyright 2008-present Bambi Vincent. All rights reserved.

What are Airport baggage kickers?

Packing tips. Luggage. Airport baggage kickers.
Our daily haul.

Regular readers of Thiefhunters in Paradise know that I recommend hard-sided luggage and avoid zippered bags as checked luggage. I’ve seen way too many exploded zippers on the baggage carousel with their guts strewn around, some most likely lost for good.

We all know that baggage handlers are tough on luggage, but airport baggage-bowels are much worse. Have you heard of airport baggage kickers? They route bags through the labyrinth of conveyer belts with a swift kick to the side, the corner, the zipper—wherever the blind mechanism happens to strike. They give checked bags more of a beating than I imagined. No wonder my aluminum suitcases emerge more scratched and dented after every flight.

Airport baggage kickers

David Cameron, a reader who pointed me to the top two brutal videos below, has assembled a nice compilation of hard-sided luggage. He describes many brands and models on his site, SafeSuitcases.com.

If you travel with checked luggage, you have to see the videos below!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=9MZqiE3yGlQ%3Frel%3D0%26showinfo%3D0%2520width%3D480%2520height%3D360%2520src%3D%2520frameborder%3D0%2520allowfullscreen

https://youtube.com/watch?v=7KeEPhkNibc%3Frel%3D0%26showinfo%3D0%2520width%3D480%2520height%3D360%2520frameborder%3D0%2520allowfullscreen

https://youtube.com/watch?v=FJV-JiTWWXI%3Frel%3D0%26showinfo%3D0%2520width%3D560%2520height%3D315%2520frameborder%3D0%2520allowfullscreen

And an actual rollercoaster for luggage, Mr. Baggage’s Endless Ride:

© Copyright 2008-present Bambi Vincent. All rights reserved.

Theft deterrent?

theft deterrent

Stop, thief!

theft deterrent
Bag tag and polite admonishment

All you have to do is ask.

Rather, tell the thief: “Stop. I’m not yours.”

Cute. This method hadn’t occurred to me as a theft deterrent. I wouldn’t count on it working.

I saw this admonishment while boarding a plane in Oslo. The man was Norwegian. Maybe this sort of theft deterrent works in Norway. Maybe only against Norwegian thieves. Maybe only against polite Norwegian thieves.

All text © copyright 2000-present. All rights reserved. Bambi Vincent

6 rules for luggage security

Halliburtons for luggage security
Our usual set of old, beat-up Halliburtons.

Another ring of airport luggage thieves has been arrested, this time at Los Angeles International Airport. So? Big deal. I’m not impressed. Not relieved. They’re everywhere, as far as I’m concerned.

Wait—I’m not saying that all baggage handlers are thieves—of course not. But when you put low-paid workers alone with the belongings of the privileged (those who can afford to fly), things are gonna go missing—sometimes.

We’ve all read the frequent reports of luggage theft at airports: by TSA, by airport baggage handlers, by airline employees, by outsiders entering baggage claim areas. When our luggage is out of our personal control it’s at risk. When we check it, when we send it through TSA checkpoints, when we put it in the overhead storage bins on planes, the risk of theft is there in some degree. There’s little we can do about it—but not nothing.

6 luggage security rules

I travel a lot* so I will use myself as a model from which you can modify to suit your style and habit. I travel with three bags: a large one which I check; a roll-on which I expect to take on the plane with me, and a shoulder bag which is always with me, no matter what.

1. The more valuable the item, the smaller the bag it travels in. Cash, jewelry, laptop, smartphone, passports, and keys go into my shoulder bag. I don’t leave this bag anywhere or entrust it to anyone. I alone am responsible for its safety and security.

2. Other valuable and necessary items go into the roll-on. The airlines have trained us: do not put valuables into your checked luggage. Their responsibility is limited. Checked bags do not always show up when and where they should, so the minimal things I must have in order to do my job (and enjoy my trip) go into the roll-on, along with valuables too bulky, heavy or secondary for my shoulder bag. Examples: paperwork, camera, backup hard drive, appropriate work clothes and shoes, computer power cord and plug adapters, and the minimal items necessary for a hotel overnight.

3. Be prepared to hand over your roll-on. Every once in a while I have to part with the roll-on, for example on a small plane where it must be checked or given up at the jetway. Therefore, I also keep a lightweight folded nylon tote in my roll-on. That way I can remove and hand carry some items I may want or need; my computer power cord, hard drive, papers I’m working with. I also carry a small supply of plastic cable locks in case I want to secure the roll-on’s zippers. Not that locking zippers is foolproof, but it’s a deterrent. Better than nothing.

Luggage security. On the left: Bob's rig. A strip of white tape is just a spare piece, used to secure checked bags. On the right: Bambi's set-up. Not aluminum, but still like new after five years of hard use.
On the left: Bob’s rig. A strip of white tape is just a spare piece, used to secure checked bags. On the right: Bambi’s set-up. Not aluminum, but still like new after five years of hard use.

4. Roll-on with security OR convenience. My roll-on is full of outside pockets for convenience, and big enough to fold in a suit or dress on a hanger. Bob’s is a lockable aluminum hardshell—very secure but sacrificing convenience. See He Packs, She Packs. I appreciate the convenience of my bag much more often than I miss the security of one like Bob’s. However, one single theft from my roll-on would probably turn that preference upside-down. Security and convenience are always a trade-off.

5. Choose your checked luggage with security in mind. At least think about the security of your checked bag. On its route through the airport, through security screening, onto luggage cars, as it’s loaded onto the plane and packed into the cargo hold, as it changes planes, and finally reverses these steps, it will be handled by dozens of employees. Most of these people are trustworthy; much of this time your bag will be in view of many workers, supervisors, and surveillance cameras. But sometimes your bag will be handled by a rotten egg—perhaps in a dark space without witnesses.

If that rotten egg—that thief—has a free moment to poach from a bag, which bag will it be? Firstly, it will be a bag that happens to be near him (or her) at the opportune moment—happenstance. Secondly, it will be the easiest to get into. Zip, plunge in the hand, grapple, grab, stash, and on to the next bag. Fast-fishing-treasure-hunt.

So, how does your bag fasten? Latches? Zipper? TSA locks? Luggage belt? Cable ties? Plastic wrap? As with pickpocketing, longer access time means more security (and less convenience—there’s that compromise again). I’m concerned enough to affix duct tape to the entire seam of my hard sided case—always. It’s ugly, for sure. But it doesn’t take long to put on and seems to be a good deterrent. So far, so good.

We’ve all seen those videos showing how to open a zipper with a ballpoint pen (here’s one, below). How often is that method used by luggage thieves? I don’t know… but I’ve seen enough exploded bags on the carousel to be afraid of zippers anyway, at least without an added bag strap or luggage belt. Addressing both those zipper threats, Delsey makes luggage with a supposedly secure zipper that has two rows of teeth. I haven’t tried it.

Luggage security
Sure you want to trust luggage with zippers?
Luggage security: Delsey makes luggage with a double zipper.
Delsey makes luggage with a double zipper.

Locking the zipper tabs together with a padlock or ziptie may be of some help, but it’s nothing for a determined thief to twist off a zipper tab. (Or to plunge a blade right through the canvas. But we can’t be that paranoid.) Put the lock or ties through the zipper loops, if they exist, instead of through the pull-tabs.

As my readers know, Bob and I prefer hard-sided luggage. We use aluminum bags. They’re heavy and expensive but, as I’ve said, we travel a lot. Honestly, they’re not for everyone. We do recommend hard-sided luggage though; if not aluminum, one of the new polycarbonate materials.

The airport baggage handlers exposed in this week’s ring did not require secret spaces or privacy. Apparently, they were opening and searching bags at large sorting platforms, presumably in full view of other workers. This concerns me, but is nothing new. When TSA security officer Pythias Brown was arrested a few years ago for stealing from passengers’ luggage, he described the airports’ culture of theft. “It was very convenient to steal,” he said, “It became so easy, I got complacent.”

The airport baggage handlers exposed in this week’s ring are not alone. Individuals and groups continue to pilfer at LAX and other airports. The world will always have thieves. Luggage security is nonexistent. Therefore:

6. Pack as if your bag will be rifled. Conventional Wisdom tells us to leave at home whatever we can’t bear to lose. I don’t know if Conventional Wisdom has ever lived a life. For the most part, this is impractical advice. Many situations call for travel with precious and/or valuable things, and sometimes we have to check those things and hope for the best.

There’s an argument for using the best luggage available, despite it being pricey and conspicuous. There’s an argument for using unremarkable low-end luggage, even if it means replacing the bags frequently. In terms of luggage security, both theories have their merits. Do luggage thieves prefer to plunder Louis Vuitton and Tumi bags? Do they loot whatever bag presents an opportunity at the right moment, regardless of brand and condition? Since I believe both situations exist, I prefer to make mine just a little harder to open, crossing my fingers that the thieves will loot a more accessible suitcase.

*Bob Arno and I have been on the road around the world approximately 250 days per year for the past twenty years without respite.

More on theft from luggage:
TSA thieves
Traveling with luggage
Bag tag sabotage

And more on bag theft at airports:
Why thieves prefer black bags when stealing luggage at airports
More airport luggage theft
Bag theft epidemic at Atlanta Airport carousel

© Copyright 2008-present Bambi Vincent. All rights reserved.

Luggage self-check at Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam

Luggage self-check: The caged suitcase is tipped into a river of luggage.

Luggage self-check

Luggage self-check? There’s nothing new about self-checking in and getting boarding passes from an airport terminal. The KLM check-in machines at Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport were the best I’ve ever used.

Long rows of luggage self-check stations at Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport
Long rows of luggage self-check stations at Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport
Luggage self-check
Onscreen video demos make the procedure clear
Luggage self-check: Anticipating that your hands are full, the machine even has a little shelf for your convenience.
Anticipating that your hands are full, the machine even has a little shelf for your convenience.
Luggage self-check: Answer the machine.
Answer the machine.
Luggage self-check: The caged suitcase is tipped into a river of luggage.
The caged suitcase is tipped into a river of luggage.

This was the first time I’ve ever completely checked my own luggage. In fact, we didn’t speak with a human at all before our flight.

The luggage self-check machine was actually sort of fun to use. Instructions on the large screen were clear and simple. “Scan the barcode on your boarding pass” gets you started. Then it asks how many bags you’re checking, and tells you how to place your bag on the platform in the little luggage cave.

The machine spits out a bag tag and tells how to attach it. No need to peel off a backing; the label is ready to stick. The luggage self-check machine then waits for you to do as it has instructed.

Once you’ve confirmed that your bag tag has been attached, the machine swallows your luggage.

A gate rolls down, the luggage platform rises and rotates, the back wall slides up, and the suitcase is dumped onto a conveyor belt.

The luggage self-check process is repeated for each bag. Finally, the machine prints out a baggage receipt.

Unanswered: What happens with an overweight bag? How is the payment done?

It’s all very quick and efficient. There was no waiting when I used the system. The machine communicates clearly and politely, which is about the best we can hope for. You won’t get a rude or stupid bag-checker, but you won’t get a friendly one, either.

And yes—all our bags arrived at our destination.

© Copyright 2008-2013 Bambi Vincent. All rights reserved.

Outrageous excuse delays return of found lost luggage

Bambi Vincent on stage in costume

Bambi Vincent on stage in costume. Lost luggage.

“We can’t export your found lost-luggage because it contains an artificial hand which requires the permission of the ministry of health.”

I’m starting with the punchline of our recent Egypt Air debacle. “Shall we retain the artificial hand and release your bag?”

Lost luggage

We’d flown to Cairo and on to Hurghada, where only two of our bags made it. The lost case contained our stage props, including the gypsy costume you see in the photos. I wear a doll in a sling, which appears to be supported by what is actually a fake arm. The arm is sewn to the doll.

Apparently Egypt’s ministry of health was not concerned about exporting an artificial child.

The missing prop bag was still in Cairo, Egypt Air officials said, and would arrive on the next flight to Hurghada. So next morning, we made the hour-long trip back to the airport and—of course—no luggage.

Promises… delays…. Finally, the bag arrived in Hurghada. A driver was sent to pick it up. It took too long though. By then we were down to the wire. The driver, finally on his way back with the bag, gave his ETA as 20 minutes. But we were forced to move on. We could not wait. After all, we’d come to perform and the show must go on. Props or no props.

The suitcase was passed to DHL, who was to ship it to Dubai, the next stop on our Middle East tour.

“We need a detailed list of what the case contains,” DHL now requested. Our exhaustive reply included “Fake female arm with jewelry and sleeve (stage prop).”

Bambi Vincent on stage in costume. Lost luggage.

DHL piddled around with lazy, ineffective emails and before they were ready to ship, we’d left Dubai, too. It was an unfunny comedy of errors, and we were beginning to wonder if we’d ever see our bag again. Instructions were revised: DHL must now ship the bag to the U.S.

We were already incredulous over this real-life display of inefficiency–and then the punchline came. We figure someone was fishing for baksheesh. “After inspection, we found item like artificial hand. We can’t export artificial hand.”

OMG! Seriously? Are we supposed to offer a bribe, or what? Was this extortion? Was Egypt accusing us of an illegal arms export?

I wrote back indignant: “This is NOT an artificial hand, it is a hollow PLASTIC PROP for our show!” I pointed out that the “fake female arm” was number 22 on the proforma invoice I had submitted, and attached a photo of myself with the artificial hand holding the artificial child.

And that was it. The bag showed up at our house the day after we returned home.

More lost luggage

But that’s not all. We flew home on Qatar Airways. We checked our three bags to our final U.S. destination. Upon landing in Houston, we claimed our three bags, took them through customs, and re-checked them for our US Airways flight. All three went missing!

Two days later, we had them back. So I’m not complaining. Just reporting an extreme travel farce. Travel is glamourous!

© Copyright 2008-present Bambi Vincent. All rights reserved.

Stolen bag tag

The unstolen luggage tag on the bag I check.
How and why was my bag tag stolen? United 1K luggage tag.
How and why was my bag tag stolen?

Who steals bag tags, and why? It couldn’t have fallen off.

I had just received my Star Alliance 1K tags from United and, having lost many previous luggage tags, I added a sturdy cable tie to the wimpy strap provided by the airline. I attached one tag to the bag I check and one to my roll-on. (Yes, I realize I’m a little OC.)

It was my first trip with the new tags. Bob and I flew from Phoenix to San Francisco, then on to Monterey. Both flights were on small aircraft where I was made to give up my roll-on plane-side. In San Francisco, the tag was still attached. When I got my bag on the Monterey tarmac, it was gone.

The unstolen luggage tag on the bag I check.
The unstolen luggage tag on the bag I check.

No “equipment” had handled the bag; only humans. It was lifted onto the plane, then taken off. I can’t see how the tag could fall off or break. But who would steal it, and why? Does it have value on the black market? Or did someone want a souvenir with my name on it?

© Copyright 2008-2013 Bambi Vincent. All rights reserved.

Bag tag sabotage

Luggage carousel

Luggage carousel

For various reasons, my luggage is hard to steal from. I take hundreds of flights every year, and so far, thank goodness, nothing has gone missing permanently. It’s no secret that there’s a problem with some airline and TSA employees stealing from luggage. It occurred to me that those thieves might sabotage the tags on luggage they’ve stolen from, in order to make the bag “disappear,” rather than to be traced to their handling of it.

Thieves who steal luggage off the carousels are another matter. These have flourished since 9/11, when “security” was taken from the baggage claim area in order to focus on security at the gates.
Currently, there’s a bag theft epidemic at Atlanta Airport carousel.)
My new “bag tag sabotage” theory is based on these facts:

1. A huge number of suitcases go missing in the airline system;

2. I take hundreds of flights (every year for the past 16), yet my bags have never disappeared;

3. My bags are harder than most to steal from;

Therefore, I’m proposing that much of the “lost luggage” has been ransacked, then deliberately made lost.

What do you think?

© Copyright 2008-2012 Bambi Vincent. All rights reserved.

He Packs, She Packs

Packing tips. Luggage security. On the left: Bob's rig. A strip of white tape is just a spare piece, used to secure checked bags. On the right: Bambi's set-up. Not aluminum, but still like new after five years of hard use.
On the left: Bob’s rig. A strip of white tape is just a spare piece, used to secure checked bags. On the right: Bambi’s set-up. Not aluminum, but still like new after five years of hard use.

Road Warrior Packing Tips

Eighteen years of near constant travel gives one a certain authority on the subject. Bob Arno and I are on the road together about 200 days a year, making more than a hundred take-offs and landings per year. Although we travel side-by-side to the same destinations, we have very different ideas about how to pack and what works best on the road.

Let’s start with checked bags. What do you bring?

He: Zero Halliburton hard-shell aluminum cases. Usually a regular suitcase-shaped one for clothes, and an 18-inch cube-shaped one for equipment. They’re hard to break into and almost indestructible.

She: Same, but only one. It opens like a clamshell and both halves lay flat when open. I always slide it under the bed and use it like a drawer. I don’t unpack much.

How is your stuff organized within the suitcases?

He: Everything is in containers. Socks, shirts, shoes, shaving stuff, all of it. They all zip or close, and I’m rather fond of the containers as well as what they contain. Ties and belts are rolled. All shoes have shoe-trees. Suits lay flat and are interwoven to prevent creases. I bring a great steamer, but I usually just need a few blasts with it. I’m not a perfectionist wrinkle-wise.

She: My clothes are folded and stacked as they would be in a drawer. Even dresses. Clothes in one half of the bag, shoes and accessories on the other side. Shoes are all in bags. Belts are usually flat instead of rolled, because they take up no space that way. I’m fanatic about sealing liquids in plastic bags. I’ve had one leak too many. Other than shoe bags, I’m not big on containers.

Packing tips. Halliburton cube
Inside Bob’s Halliburton cube.

Cabin baggage. Do you use a roll-aboard?

He: Absolutely. A maximum regulation-sized Zero Halliburton, black aluminum. Its telescoping handle is actually too short for me—all roll-ons are too short for me!—so I have a snap-on handle extension that makes it really comfortable to drag. The bag locks, and it’s padded inside. I stuff it full of hard drives, video cameras, and other recording equipment. Because of the bag’s excellent security, I don’t have to worry too much when I’m forced to check it on smaller planes. However, because it’s so dense with electronics, I have to pull half the items out at every security check, lay them flat in a bin, and put them separately though the scanner.

She: Mine’s a red Mandarina Duck, also the largest regulation size. It has tons of zipped pockets, and anything I need is a just second away. The power cord for my computer, plug adapters, a book, iPod cord and earphones—they’re all in outside compartments. Inside I have a black suit and a dress, both on the same hanger, important shoes, a hard drive, and just a mass of necessities. I could probably live with just that bag. In fact I did once, out in Africa when my checked luggage didn’t show up. Ten days with just my carry-on!

Packing tips. Luggage
Our daily haul.

What about your second carry-on, your “small, personal item”?

He: Yep, another Halliburton. It’s a briefcase, which holds two Mac laptops, a few more hard drives and power cords, my wallet, pens, and reading. It balances on my roll-on, and I can snap my extension handle over it to fasten them together. Strong and safe!

She: A Mandarina Duck shoulder bag that goes with the roll-aboard. This bag is fantastic. It holds my 17″ MacBookPro in one padded compartment, and all my important items in another. Wallet, iPods, jewelry, foreign currency, airplane power adapter, reading, a shawl, and innumerable little essentials (like passports and dark chocolate). The bag attaches securely on top of the roll-on and the two stand as a single unit.

Have any unusual packing tips?

He: 1. Bags and pouches for everything, and the same ones all the time so you know where everything is.

2. In addition to an international plug adapter, I keep a short extension cord with multiple outlets in my roll-on. It allows me to share a power outlet, even if, like in an airport, they’re all being used. It’s useful every single day.

She: 1. I keep a small pouch in my shoulder bag, about the size of my hand. It’s my airplane bag, and goes on my lap on every flight. It contains noise-canceling earphones, a pen, lip balm, and a nail file. Things I know I’ll want on the flight.

2. On the road, the lowly shower cap has a hundred uses. As shoe bags, a rainy-day camera cover, to hold not-quite-dry socks, collected seashells, or an oozy bottle of lotion… even to cover the tv remote if you’re squeamish.

3. When packing a nice suit jacket, stand the collar up and open the lapels so they’re flat. That way you avoid hard, sharp creases where the lapels fold and your jacket will look more elegant.

4. I use shampoo for hand-washing clothes.

Criticisms on each other’s method?

He: Bambi isn’t in charge of all our video equipment and hard drives for video editing (which we do on the road), so she can use her space for useful things that benefit us both. Neither of her cabin bags is lockable, though, so she’s always reluctant to leave them in a hotel storage room. To me, her bags are messy inside. I don’t know how she finds anything, but she does.

She: All his pouches and little bags! I don’t know what’s in any of them. And with luggage weight restrictions, why haul the weight of containers? Bob’s two carry-ons take too much time to get into. I can grab a credit card, loyalty card, pen, tissue, or bag of peanuts in an instant. I take out my computer, check email, and put it away all in a minute or two, while standing up. I get through airport security and I’m on my way in under a minute. Bob’s set-up is slow. But I’m not above locking my stuff into his bags sometimes.
© Copyright 2008-2010 Bambi Vincent. All rights reserved.