Slogging through endless airports, hoping for a nice lounge, or at least a seat near a power outlet.
Occasionally, delightful surprises are discovered. For example, the sign I saw at Cagliari airport (Sardinia) over the baggage conveyor belt:
ATTENZIONE AL SEGNALE ACUSTICO LUMINOSO DI PREAVOISO MOVIMENTO MASTRO.
PAY ATTENTION TO THE ACOUSTIC AND LUMINOUS SIGNAL FOREWARNING TAPE MOVEMENT.
If you haven’t read it, Nigerian Nightmare is a fantastic airport story. See my other airport observations.
Regular readers of Thiefhunters in Paradise know that I recommend hard-sided luggage and avoid zippered bags as checked luggage. I’ve seen way too many exploded zippers on the baggage carousel with their guts strewn around, some most likely lost for good.
We all know that baggage handlers are tough on luggage, but airport baggage-bowels are much worse. Have you heard of airport baggage kickers? They route bags through the labyrinth of conveyer belts with a swift kick to the side, the corner, the zipper—wherever the blind mechanism happens to strike. They give checked bags more of a beating than I imagined. No wonder my aluminum suitcases emerge more scratched and dented after every flight.
David Cameron, a reader who pointed me to the top two brutal videos below, has assembled a nice compilation of hard-sided luggage. He describes many brands and models on his site, SafeSuitcases.com.
If you travel with checked luggage, you have to see the videos below!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=9MZqiE3yGlQ%3Frel%3D0%26showinfo%3D0%2520width%3D480%2520height%3D360%2520src%3D%2520frameborder%3D0%2520allowfullscreen
https://youtube.com/watch?v=7KeEPhkNibc%3Frel%3D0%26showinfo%3D0%2520width%3D480%2520height%3D360%2520frameborder%3D0%2520allowfullscreen
https://youtube.com/watch?v=FJV-JiTWWXI%3Frel%3D0%26showinfo%3D0%2520width%3D560%2520height%3D315%2520frameborder%3D0%2520allowfullscreen
And an actual rollercoaster for luggage, Mr. Baggage’s Endless Ride:
Like shopping? Like to be forced into shopping? Ever feel like boycotting a store because of the arrogant manner shown towards its customers?
Like to take the loooooong way around? Stockholm’s Arlanda Airport uses luggage carts to blockade the quick way—the desirable way—to the gates. After security we used to be able to take a quick left and get promptly to the lounge, or to the gates. Now (actually it’s been this way for some years), the way is blocked and we’re forced to make the long trek through the store. Only to then turn left and backtrack outside the shop all the way back to where we started.
It’s presumtuous and insulting. They don’t know if my feet hurt. They don’t know if I’m late. They don’t know if I’m desperate for ten extra minutes of internet before my flight. Or a quick meal. Or a bathroom.
I’d like to organize 50 people to clear security with me. We’d each take a luggage cart and park it elsewhere, clearing the way to avoid the massive so-called “duty-free” store and allowing us to use the most efficient exit.
We travelers should have the choice.
Sometimes an exhausted traveler just has to give in and conk out. You can intend to be productive. You can try to be productive. You can even be productive—for hours.
Eventually though, the slog, the discomfort, the lack of comfort, the waiting, the lines. and the sheep-herding, dull the mind, wilt the spirits, and invite fatigue.
And you simply have to crash.
I travel loaded with productivity tools but very few articles of comfort. Zero whimsical items. Perhaps it’s time for a change.
Here it is, 2014, and we are in the airport of Springfield IL, the capital of Illinois. I’m amused to see the actual, in-use, antique airport luggage scale at the check-in counter.
We are leaving Springfield. Landing here, less than 24 hours ago, was remarkable. The Skywest jet’s wheels hit the runway hard and—nose up—we immediately took off again, bumpily. We were in row 2, so clearly heard one of the flight attendants exclaim “oh my god!” No explanation came from the captain. Just silence.
The whole plane was silent. Deadly silent.
We rose higher and banked steeply, overlooking the green-green-green of Springfield’s farms. Finally, many minutes later, the captain came on over the P.A. It was gusty, he said, with severe wind sheer on the runway. He’d try to land once more—otherwise, we’d go to another airport.
I looked down at the trees—we weren’t very high—and didn’t see any movement at all. No swaying branches, no bending poplars. He’s probably just a bad pilot, I thought. He botched the landing.
We circled once more, then aimed for the runway. Any white-knucklers onboard must have been beside themselves.
It was bumpy, but we landed. The clothes of the tarmac personnel whipped about their bodies. I descended the airplane stairs certain I’d be blown down them with my hand luggage acting as a sail.
Springfield Il airport. More interesting than I expected.
90% of the times I bypass a long line at a ladies’ room, I find an unused, available, extra-wide, “accessible” cubicle. Trained by parking spaces, women think those toilet stalls are reserved for handicapped women. No ladies—they’re not!
Disabled women have a right to an accessible toilet, but not necessarily without waiting their turn. In an airport, we all expect to wait.
So I use the handicap stall. Yes, I’m cutting the line. I could suggest that the first woman waiting use the empty stall, but she has already decided to avoid it. And then I’d return to the end of an even longer line, which grew while I was inside trying to make things happen. And while I’m way back in the line, how do I know everyone ahead of me will continue to make use of the accessible stall?
So I use it. And from then on, at least for a while, the line moves quicker. I get an advantage, but everyone else in the line also benefits.
You find the strangest things in airport lounges. Fancy banana liqueur?
This was in the Turkish Air lounge in Izmir. Let me tell you: the Turkish Air lounge in Istanbul is fantastic! I love the cuisine of Turkey, and the lounge has a luscious sampling. In Istanbul, I want a long layover.
Of course I had to try the banana liqueur. Yep—very sweet. Probably mixes up well though, if you know what you’re doing.
Another ring of airport luggage thieves has been arrested, this time at Los Angeles International Airport. So? Big deal. I’m not impressed. Not relieved. They’re everywhere, as far as I’m concerned.
Wait—I’m not saying that all baggage handlers are thieves—of course not. But when you put low-paid workers alone with the belongings of the privileged (those who can afford to fly), things are gonna go missing—sometimes.
We’ve all read the frequent reports of luggage theft at airports: by TSA, by airport baggage handlers, by airline employees, by outsiders entering baggage claim areas. When our luggage is out of our personal control it’s at risk. When we check it, when we send it through TSA checkpoints, when we put it in the overhead storage bins on planes, the risk of theft is there in some degree. There’s little we can do about it—but not nothing.
I travel a lot* so I will use myself as a model from which you can modify to suit your style and habit. I travel with three bags: a large one which I check; a roll-on which I expect to take on the plane with me, and a shoulder bag which is always with me, no matter what.
1. The more valuable the item, the smaller the bag it travels in. Cash, jewelry, laptop, smartphone, passports, and keys go into my shoulder bag. I don’t leave this bag anywhere or entrust it to anyone. I alone am responsible for its safety and security.
2. Other valuable and necessary items go into the roll-on. The airlines have trained us: do not put valuables into your checked luggage. Their responsibility is limited. Checked bags do not always show up when and where they should, so the minimal things I must have in order to do my job (and enjoy my trip) go into the roll-on, along with valuables too bulky, heavy or secondary for my shoulder bag. Examples: paperwork, camera, backup hard drive, appropriate work clothes and shoes, computer power cord and plug adapters, and the minimal items necessary for a hotel overnight.
3. Be prepared to hand over your roll-on. Every once in a while I have to part with the roll-on, for example on a small plane where it must be checked or given up at the jetway. Therefore, I also keep a lightweight folded nylon tote in my roll-on. That way I can remove and hand carry some items I may want or need; my computer power cord, hard drive, papers I’m working with. I also carry a small supply of plastic cable locks in case I want to secure the roll-on’s zippers. Not that locking zippers is foolproof, but it’s a deterrent. Better than nothing.
4. Roll-on with security OR convenience. My roll-on is full of outside pockets for convenience, and big enough to fold in a suit or dress on a hanger. Bob’s is a lockable aluminum hardshell—very secure but sacrificing convenience. See He Packs, She Packs. I appreciate the convenience of my bag much more often than I miss the security of one like Bob’s. However, one single theft from my roll-on would probably turn that preference upside-down. Security and convenience are always a trade-off.
5. Choose your checked luggage with security in mind. At least think about the security of your checked bag. On its route through the airport, through security screening, onto luggage cars, as it’s loaded onto the plane and packed into the cargo hold, as it changes planes, and finally reverses these steps, it will be handled by dozens of employees. Most of these people are trustworthy; much of this time your bag will be in view of many workers, supervisors, and surveillance cameras. But sometimes your bag will be handled by a rotten egg—perhaps in a dark space without witnesses.
If that rotten egg—that thief—has a free moment to poach from a bag, which bag will it be? Firstly, it will be a bag that happens to be near him (or her) at the opportune moment—happenstance. Secondly, it will be the easiest to get into. Zip, plunge in the hand, grapple, grab, stash, and on to the next bag. Fast-fishing-treasure-hunt.
So, how does your bag fasten? Latches? Zipper? TSA locks? Luggage belt? Cable ties? Plastic wrap? As with pickpocketing, longer access time means more security (and less convenience—there’s that compromise again). I’m concerned enough to affix duct tape to the entire seam of my hard sided case—always. It’s ugly, for sure. But it doesn’t take long to put on and seems to be a good deterrent. So far, so good.
We’ve all seen those videos showing how to open a zipper with a ballpoint pen (here’s one, below). How often is that method used by luggage thieves? I don’t know… but I’ve seen enough exploded bags on the carousel to be afraid of zippers anyway, at least without an added bag strap or luggage belt. Addressing both those zipper threats, Delsey makes luggage with a supposedly secure zipper that has two rows of teeth. I haven’t tried it.
Locking the zipper tabs together with a padlock or ziptie may be of some help, but it’s nothing for a determined thief to twist off a zipper tab. (Or to plunge a blade right through the canvas. But we can’t be that paranoid.) Put the lock or ties through the zipper loops, if they exist, instead of through the pull-tabs.
As my readers know, Bob and I prefer hard-sided luggage. We use aluminum bags. They’re heavy and expensive but, as I’ve said, we travel a lot. Honestly, they’re not for everyone. We do recommend hard-sided luggage though; if not aluminum, one of the new polycarbonate materials.
The airport baggage handlers exposed in this week’s ring did not require secret spaces or privacy. Apparently, they were opening and searching bags at large sorting platforms, presumably in full view of other workers. This concerns me, but is nothing new. When TSA security officer Pythias Brown was arrested a few years ago for stealing from passengers’ luggage, he described the airports’ culture of theft. “It was very convenient to steal,” he said, “It became so easy, I got complacent.”
The airport baggage handlers exposed in this week’s ring are not alone. Individuals and groups continue to pilfer at LAX and other airports. The world will always have thieves. Luggage security is nonexistent. Therefore:
6. Pack as if your bag will be rifled. Conventional Wisdom tells us to leave at home whatever we can’t bear to lose. I don’t know if Conventional Wisdom has ever lived a life. For the most part, this is impractical advice. Many situations call for travel with precious and/or valuable things, and sometimes we have to check those things and hope for the best.
There’s an argument for using the best luggage available, despite it being pricey and conspicuous. There’s an argument for using unremarkable low-end luggage, even if it means replacing the bags frequently. In terms of luggage security, both theories have their merits. Do luggage thieves prefer to plunder Louis Vuitton and Tumi bags? Do they loot whatever bag presents an opportunity at the right moment, regardless of brand and condition? Since I believe both situations exist, I prefer to make mine just a little harder to open, crossing my fingers that the thieves will loot a more accessible suitcase.
*Bob Arno and I have been on the road around the world approximately 250 days per year for the past twenty years without respite.
More on theft from luggage:
TSA thieves
Traveling with luggage
Bag tag sabotage
And more on bag theft at airports:
Why thieves prefer black bags when stealing luggage at airports
More airport luggage theft
Bag theft epidemic at Atlanta Airport carousel
A jumble of travelers’ belongings and precious air mattresses.
The weather was terrible when we visited Japan last month. There was a whole inch of snow on the ground, and slushy puddles to slog through. It seemed Tokyo was unused to clearing streets and sidewalks. (I’d rather have slush than what I experienced on my March 2011 visit to Tokyo: the earthquake and tsunami.) Our drive to the airport, usually an hour, took three and a half due to closed and clogged roads.
But no problem: flights at Tokyo Narita had been delayed or cancelled. The airport was crowded with huddled travelers, their luggage piled neatly or jumbled. Our flight, too, was delayed, but only by a few hours.
We spent the time in a sushi restaurant where we had a mediocre meal and good wifi. Others were not so lucky, but luckier than delayed travelers elsewhere. Tokyo Narita Airport had kindly distributed lengths of air mattress, similar to bubble-wrap. People were sleeping on them, propped against pillows of the stuff, and covered by it. Creative families built tidy fortresses with floors and walls of air.
What a way to make a miserable situation a little more bearable.
Just wondering: what kind of clientele does United Airlines have? I mean, is it really necessary to place a formal request on each coffee table, telling its airport lounge guests to keep their feet off the furniture?
And the advance explanation, “As a courtesy,” as if anticipating the obvious follow-on question that surely comes from that feet-on-furniture breed, “why not?”—isn’t it a bit subtle?
Does United mean feet or shoes? Does it matter?
Are people really such pigs?
Is this what happens when lounge membership includes everyone who gets the first-year-no-annual-fee United-branded Visa card? (And is that why the lounges are so crowded?)
Survey: Do you put your shoes on the furniture at home?