Dinner with thieves. It’s 3:00. The film crew’s still perfecting camera angles, lighting, and table arrangements. I’ve taken my seat as requested, so cameras can be adjusted behind me.

I’m antsy. Bob’s irritated. All invitees arrived on time at 2. They’ve been asked to wait in a nearby café. But for how long? They’re our guests and I’m feeling rude.

The restaurant has closed to the public. Its owners and staff stand in the back, arms crossed, unsmiling. Its lighting has been draped with black or white fabric and our own lights have been arranged on large stands. My eyes bounce from the frenzied crew to my watch to the prominent tanks of live seafood bubbling noisily. Sound man Michele frowns at the hum but, as a homeboy, he knows he can’t ask the restaurant owner to turn off the vital air supply to the pricey perishables.

Bob and I were skeptical as the taxi cruised along the unfamiliar streets of this neighborhood. This small restaurant, chosen by Andy, is the best-looking address on the street. Inside, its homey atmosphere is comforting. We can’t help wondering: are the owners relatives?; if not, do they know who today’s guests are?

We thought this gathering would just be a dinner, maybe a party, but it’s more—it’s an ad hoc film set. The crew are now trying to rig a camera to fly over the table. Our producer and official whip-cracker, Kath, is putting on the pressure to open the doors; but sound must be perfect. Lighting and cameras must be just so. I’m wondering if we’ll have any guests at all by the time they’re ready. Finally, at 4:00, the thieves are called in.

They arrive smiling: Frank, and his brother Ed; Andy, and his brother Lou; Lou’s son-in-law Marc; and Clay. Handshakes and hugs all around, as at any dinner party. Then Andy goes straight for Bob’s pockets, feeling him up. With a flourish and a spin, he whips out a wallet from Bob’s breast pocket, laughing. To complete the charade, he hands it off to Marc, who skulks away. The room cracks up. Applause.

Frank has dressed for the occasion, in a purple silk shirt. When we first met him on the bus he was clean-shaven. The next day in the park he signed a release agreeing to be in our film. Now he has a mustache. Has he grown it as a disguise? For a debonaire film-star look? I forget to ask him.

Continues…

Part one of this story. —   Next installment

Anticipation. Frank has RSVPed by email, with enthusiasm. But what about the others? Will they come to our dinner? I wonder about the restaurant chosen by Andy. Is it owned by a relative? Is it a regular thieves’ den? Will the food be appetizing and safe to eat? Is it a dive, or has he taken advantage of our offer to select an outrageously expensive place?

It’s in a rough neighborhood, is all we are told. Later, our crew go there to scout the lighting needs and see how they’ll set up cameras, but the place is closed.

At the dinner, we hope to exchange pickpocketing techniques. Bob is particularly interested in learning the moves involved in a slow, steady extraction from the front pants pocket. To be on the safe side, we decide to buy a pair of pants with the kind of pocket we know will work.

We go shopping, camera crew in tow. And given the neighborhood, given the mass of equipment that surrounds us on this excursion, we have police protection. Not one, but two cops escort us into the alley of cheap clothing, where we find what we think are the perfect pants. Michele shouts as a man runs toward Van, who has the Red on his shoulder; Van can only see what’s in his frame. One of our cops steers the man away.

Waiting for the dinner, we feel we must stay off the buses. We don’t want our pickpocket friends to think we’re looking for their competitors. Neither do we want to infringe on their work—we’re not law enforcement, we remind ourselves. This city could put a dent in thievery if it wanted to, but criminal activity is an innate and intrinsic part of society here; our values are outsiders’ ethics.

We feel it’s safe, so-to-speak, to research another territory. We make a morning trip to a huge outdoor market where we’re told a few female pickpockets work plucking wallets out of women’s purses. Bob and I wander the aisles of clothing, shoes, hardware, luggage, housewares, and electronics. I’m totally, naturally, distracted by the shoes—of top quality and bottom price. A fabulous pair of tall, lace-up boots costs €25, about $30—10% of regular retail! I want to try them on but I’m supposed to be thiefhunting. Our crew is following us with their hidden cameras. Kun is using an exposed Canon D5 for stills, but it also shoots gorgeous video. We have undercover police guards tailing us at the ends of each aisle. Nothing happens. I try on shoes, I set down my purse, I turn my back on it. Nothing. No takers.

Back in the police office we dissect our failure to attract thieves. Kun’s camera was too obvious, the police say. Shouts were heard warning of cameras. The books containing hidden cameras were held unnaturally, raising suspicion. My purse was carried too carelessly, they say, no local woman would hold it like that.

While we’re debriefing in the police office, three separate victims come to report thefts from their purses. The thieves are there. They’re working. But they’re savvy, and they don’t like me as a victim.

The market is closing now; each vendor is packing up and loading boxes onto trucks. Our dinner with thieves is nearing.

Part one of this story.  —  Next installment

Thieves find us, more. It was a big day for us, and for the whole documentary team. The lowlifers stealing Bob’s wallet, finding Marc and Andy on a bus, catching up on a few years with Andy at a café, then making plans for a big dinner.

I haven’t mentioned that somehow during the day, Bob’s wallet really did disappear, and it isn’t clear how that happened. Did Marc or Andy take it? Could it have been the third man with them, whom we didn’t recognize and lost track of in the excitement? Or was it our own film crew, who never replaced the wallet in Bob’s pocket after filming those pickup shots?

In any case, it’s gone. This upsets Bob, because he’s lost that very wallet hundreds of times in our thiefhunting exploits, and he’s always gotten it back. Now the wallet is gone.

To relax and clear his head, Bob goes for a long shower. From the bathroom he calls me. “Go get the crew. I want to share my thoughts on the day. They can film in here if they want to, I don’t mind.”

They bring the big old Red into the steamy bathroom. Director of photography, film director, and sound man all in the bathroom, shifting angles to avoid seeing themselves in the mirrors. Bob’s in the clear glass shower, water pouring off him, explaining the meaning of that damn wallet, its loss, and how a shower calms him.

After Bob’s shower, we sit on the bed talking a little more to the cameras. It’s late. I’ve got my computer and I check email for the last time before bed. And… there’s an email from Frank. Email from a pickpocket!

It was a long and heartfelt letter and, even with a rough google translation, we could sense the warmth and charm Frank was trying to express. I’m sure Frank won’t mind that I quote this short poetic bit:

I know perfectly well that to touch the soul you can impress both the astonishing perception that sharpens our satisfaction, even if our directions are very different. Yours can be a funny show, quite surreal. but you may feel sick from the fleeting moment of reality that is reflected in my ever infinite talent.

After a long, frustrated account of the city’s political and criminal problems, Frank writes: “I believe that here it is becoming worse. Who would not want to hold a secure job and live a life of tranquility?” Then suddenly, a sentence that had me on the floor laughing. “Dear Bob, I’m a bit pathetically away from our subject…” Frank’s main point was to confirm our restaurant plans. He was politely RSVPing.

Part one of this story. —   Next installment

Thieves find us, continued. We’re not looking for pickpockets; just busy filming pickup shots on the bus for the documentary, when known thieves Marc and Andy board the bus with a third man we don’t recognize. “Marc!” we all say, swiveling our cameras in his direction. “Andy!” I say, as the two push past me. Bob and I recognize Andy from past years, but the film crew don’t know him.

The men had boarded at the back of the now-crowded bus. They shimmy through the tightly packed aisle like river water through stones. Marc and Andy pretend they don’t know us, but we and our crew are in relentless pursuit, struggling through the aisle crowd to catch up, to make contact. From the beginning, Marc has been the shifty-eyed cautious one. Even now, he makes as if to jump ship at the first stop, eager to escape. But Bob catches up with him, all smiles, and when the bus lurches to its next stop, we all jump off together: two thieves, Bob and I, and our whole crew.

We land at a café and take a few tables. The big Red camera looks our way and the furry boom mic hovers over us. We order coffee, lemon ice, a few snacks. Andy reminisces over past meetings with Bob and me. Marc reverts to his friendlier self on Andy’s cue.

Bob pulls out his iPod and shows Andy our gallery of local thieves. Andy smiles, laughs, pointing to photos of his friends. He knows every face. He stops at Lou, his brother, and tells us that he’s retired now. At 57, Lou now has a cigarette kiosk and makes a decent living. Bob and I are glad to hear this. We’ve known Lou for 12 years now; he was the first pickpocket we met in this city. Or rather, the first one we spoke with at length.

Though we figure Andy’s already aware of it, Bob expresses his wish to find the most talented pickpocket in this city of talented pickpockets. Andy doesn’t hesitate. “I’m the best!” he brags. “Ask anyone.” Marc nods. Bob describes the technique he hopes to have demonstrated and Andy pops out of his chair, ready to show it. Andy’s talking a blue streak and sound man Michele, translating yet another thief, is listening with a broad grin. He can’t translate everything fast enough, but at one point he beams at me. “He’s incredibly charming. Full of character, like an actor!”

“You say you’re the best,” Bob says. “Then it’s you I’m looking for!” Bob proposes dinner—a big dinner with thieves. “We’ll have a contest and share techniques,” he says. He invites Marc and Andy, and tells them to invite Frank and Frank’s brother Ed. And Clay, because he was there at the demonstration party in the park. And Lou, of course, retired or not!

“We can’t do dinner,” Andy explains. Frank is on restriction; he’s not allowed out after 9 p.m. “Say 2:00 on Friday. Where?”

“Where would you like to go?” our producer chips in generously. Andy names a restaurant without hesitation, and volunteers to make reservations. He scribbles the name and address of the place for us and stands, eager to get back to work.

After Marc and Andy disappear on a bus, Bob and I need a walk to come down. We know the neighborhood and its risks, so we turn in our hidden cameras to the crew. Our van has come to meet us at the café and it will take all the equipment. Bob and I walk.

Part one of this story. —    Next installment

Thieves find us. “Police, police! She took my wallet!” That’s Bob screaming at ear-splitting volume. Not his usual reaction to pickpocketing! Usually, he turns and simply asks for the wallet back. Or if he has the time, he’ll steal something else from the thief—his phone or sunglasses—and then propose a trade.

We’d noticed this thief, a lowlife drug-addled woman, at a bus stop, as she and her boyfriend lit cigarette butts plucked from the ground. The bus stop was thick with thieves, all more interesting than this desperado; Bob was hoping his wallet would attract one of the others. But the woman wormed her way through the boarding throng, cutting between Bob and me. I had the perfect view of her sloppy steal. So did our film crew.

We’re at the bus stop for “pickup shots” after the rush and excitement of the past few days. We’d found the pickpocket trio Frank, Marc, and Ed so quickly, and things progressed in such a rush, our film director realized that we needed some establishing shots and close-ups on the bus to set the scene for viewers of the documentary.

Director Kun Chang asks Bob to board the next bus, then hop off before it leaves. That’s when the junkie grabs his wallet. Bob makes a scene and the boyfriend shoves the wallet back in. Cute. Usually they just drop it on the ground. Bob gets off the bus and together, we marvel at the number of “suspects” around us. We don’t recognize any individuals from prior visits, but they all fit the pattern.

Today, though, we’re not thiefhunting, tempting as it is. We need those pickup shots, so we let the bus go without us, onboard thieves free to do their thing unwatched. Bob and I are to board the next red bus, because that’s the kind we rode two days ago with Frank, Marc, and Ed.

Here comes one. We board, along with our film crew. It’s empty—I mean, no suspects. Bob and I stand where we were when Frank & Co. found us, and the cameras get their shots. Until…
The bus stops and doors open and I glance out the window to see faces I recognize. It’s Marc, the younger of the pickpockets we’d met two days ago, and with him Andy, Marc’s uncle-by-marriage and a thief Bob and I have known for years.

We don’t expect them to board. We think they’ll see us and turn away. But no. Along with a third man we don’t recognize, they climb the stairs to work the bus.

Part one of this story. —   Next installment.

Day Two, Meeting with Thieves. It rained. We stood waiting in the drizzle in a park behind some kiddie carnival rides, pretty certain they wouldn’t show up. I mean, it’s crazy to think a pickpocket will keep an appointment anyway. Let alone in the rain.

We waited half an hour. But—we had arrived half an hour early.

Here’s where I shouldn’t say more. Just…stay tuned! The feature film will be out in about a year! But c’mon… you’ll have forgotten in a year, right? Or maybe you’ll see the film anyway, even if I kill the suspense. I can tell you…

Ed showed up first. Frank zipped up on his motorcycle moments later, and Marc came from somewhere. All prompt.

We needed the thieves to sign releases before our production company could film them. Ed had questions. We squabbled in the rain until until someone herded us under the trees where it was dryer. Our big cameras moved in and circled the group. A few men wandered in from the street, obvious friends and partners of the pickpockets. A full hour of heated philosophizing: Why do you want to see demonstrations? Why do you want to know these things? What you do on stage is totally different from what we do in the street. What we do is not something to be proud of.

Finally, an agreement is reached and releases are signed. They are “anonymous releases,” meaning that we’ll have to blur their faces. That’s such a shame. These are expressive men, with eyes you’d want to see.

The rain stops and the demonstrations begin. The men had brought their tools: floppy messenger bags, a shopping bag. jackets, caps, and sunglasses. We had brought a man in a suit as a volunteer victim.

Frank, Marc, and Ed position our victim next to a lamp post and tell him to pretend he’s on a bus. Then they take their places like dancers in a ballet, without words. Instantly and automatically, the three men position themselves around him. Their pal Clay appears and joins in. The victim is jostled a little, and we are allowed a glimpse of what the men would usually hide: Frank’s hand in the victim’s breast pocket. We see Frank’s hand drop and the wallet fall into a shopping bag that Clay holds low. None of the men look at what they’re doing. It’s all by rote and intuition.

The men split and disperse in four directions. Applause. All our film crew are beaming, thrilled on so many levels. They’ve never associated with pickpockets. They’ve never seen how a steal is done by professional criminals. They got the demo on camera. And they’re a little queasy to find that they’re amused by the technical skills of thieves.

It’s not just their technical skills, though. It’s their cooperation, their exuberance, their humanness. They’ve become the opposite of cold and faceless.

Is it okay to enjoy this? Everyone’s high-fiving and thumbs-upping. The pride of the men is rewarded with amazement and glee. The thieves are so darn likable. Can we let ourselves actually like them? Should we pretend to ourselves that we’re just pretending to like them?

The director wants another take and the team is happy to repeat the scene. They’re having fun and tickled by the director’s call: Aaaaaand… action!

There are more demonstrations: how to get money out of a wallet without removing the wallet from the pocket, how to get cash out of a pouch under trousers, how much harder it is to get a wallet out of the back pocket of jeans if the wallet is jammed in sideways.

For fun, Bob steals a belt. We see the lightbulb go on over Frank. Moneybelts! “Teach me that trick!” he says, “Please!” We didn’t mean to give him new ideas. Laughing, Bob and I imagine puzzled police officer, suddenly taking reports of stolen belts all across town.

We continue for hours. The conversation is animated. It’s like a party without the cocktails. Michele is translating, recording sound, and watching his monitor levels all at the same time, while smiling. We have two other translators, and everyone’s talking at once. Our poor director has to yell for silence more than action.

It’s past 7:00 by the time we all leave the park. I wonder what the pickpockets tell their wives when they return home without cash. We made a movie! We laughed and had fun with foreigners! Yeah, right.

Part one of this story. —   Next installment

Thiefhunting, Day One, still more. This is an old-fashioned town, lightly touched by the 21st century. Vendors ply the streets like the horse-and-buggy days my parents describe, only these peddlers drive rickety rusty trucks piled with everything from fruit to diapers to toys, and bark through muffled microphones: “come one, come all, I’ve got everything for you—cheap!” Several trucks may be wending their ways on the steep roads below our hotel, and they politely alternate their announcements.

It’s a noisy town, too. Church bells ring insistently all morning, to shake the lazy from their beds. The nightly neighborhood fireworks I’ve already mentioned (I’m watching a spectacular show just this moment from the terrace bar). Cars and motorcycles whiz by on the narrow mountain road, spewing fumes, deafening. There’s a lot of horn-honking, and frequent musical police sirens. The words “charming” and “quaint” only apply to certain aspects of the city: dining, for sure; the people, architecture, ancient culture and traditions.

The fact that the city is somewhat of an anachronism is important to this story. It explains a little bit of the pickpockets’ fascination with us, and their reaction to us. Theirs is a simple, predictable existence. Not simple as in easy; their chosen career has plenty of difficulties and complications. But simple as in routine, repetitive, and limited. There’s work, there’s family life, there’s celebration and I’m sure there’s joy and pride.

Slyly lifting a wallet from the pocket of an obvious tourist on a bus is one of the daily routines. Speaking with the victim—briefly—happens now and then. Coffee with the victim? Never. Hours of conversation? Unheard of. An outsider actually asking questions, listening, interested, non-judgmental? A total shock. And not unpleasant! Or…reason for suspicion. Is it a sting of some sort? A trap? “The system?”

The men start out fake-friendly. Then they are confused. They become curious and cagey, cautious and protective. But Bob and I are believable because we’re honest. We admit outright that we’re making a documentary. We say we’re looking for the top talent in the profession. We explain that we want to feature this job, and we need the best representatives to do it. Yes, the film will be international, and that means it will be shown here, too.

We’re listening, and the thieves are flattered. We do not fit the routine. We are a curiosity, and a surprisingly welcome intellectual stimulation. We trigger new thoughts, inspire them to say things they’ve never before put into words. We become their future dinner topic, a big thing in their day, maybe in their year. Possibly more.

We’re making a film, we tell the thieves. A film. A movie… This is a concept so remote to the people of this neighborhood, the people who live this simple-but complicated existence, they know it is impossible that the making of a film would touch them—yet it has.

Just the thought brightens their day. And they’re intrigued. Why not? Everyone in this town knows what they do. It’s no secret, they’ve been doing it their entire adult lives and even before. What’s to lose?

Bob and I prepare for the meeting in the park. Will the pickpocket gang show up? Will they really sign the required releases and demonstrate for our cameras? Fervent hope and suspense make it impossible to sleep.

Part one of this story. —    Next installment.